Children older than age 5 have an easier time, as they have begun to have experiences and friends outside of the home. Getting ready for your new baby includes helping other family members adjust.
A new baby brings new sounds, new schedules, and new ways of coping for everyone. Most families soon find ways to adjust to the changes that take place. But it’s helpful to prepare some family members for what’s ahead.
Help your firstborn adjust to change.
When you’re pregnant with your second child, you know what to expect. But while you’re ready for midnight feedings and can handle a car seat with ease, you’re facing a new challenge. Your firstborn also has needs and may resent the time you spend on the tiny sibling. The good news is that you can take steps to prepare your son or daughter for the arrival.
It’s best to talk to your child before your body changes too much or neighbors begin talking to you about the new baby. Otherwise, he or she might feel left out, puzzled or concerned.
Children who are 1 or 2 years old may not understand the concept of a new sister or brother. But they can share in the excitement as you prepare for the baby. Specialty picture books can help explain the news, and if you know someone with a newborn, take your child for a visit.
With school-age children, use age-appropriate language, answer questions and discuss their feelings.
No matter the age, avoid talking about a new “playmate,” which can lead to disappointment when the child sees a newborn.
Consider the child’s developmental milestones. If possible, start toilet-training, for instance, long before the baby is born or a few months after the family is comfortable with the new arrival.
If you plan to move the child to another room or from a crib to a bed, do so before the baby is born, allowing plenty of time for an adjustment period.
Involve your child in the planning process, whether that means going shopping for baby clothes together, picking out nursery colors or listening to the baby’s heartbeat.
Encourage your spouse or partner, family and friends to spend more time with the older child.
Depending on the child’s age, have a trusted friend or family member bring the child to the hospital to see the mother and baby. While other visitors hold the baby, give special attention to the older sibling.
If you know that your friends and family are bringing the baby a gift, ask them to include an item for your other child. Alternatively, they can bring a present just for the older sibling.
Tantrums are not uncommon. Children might break the rules to get attention and act younger than their age. There might be a setback in toilet training. Don’t scold, punish or get upset during this period of adjustment. Continue to show affection and spend time alone with the child doing something fun, such as going to the playground. Children need to know they’re still loved and that the new baby has not replaced them.
For more information, contact ChristianaCare’s Parent Education Department at 302-301-3360.